A Quest for Bare Mentalities

Walking along the paved road,

Never thought rock-bottom would be this cold.
“Pull yourself together”; they said,
“Stop acting weird”; they said,
How do I tell them, how hard I tried,
To stand back up with all my might.
Nothing made sense,
Life was leeched out of joy,

But all they could see was the dark rings circling my eyes.

“Get some sleep, you’ll be fine”; they said,
“It’s just a phase, don’t you mind”; they said,
How do I sleep with monsters beneath me?
Who haunt me with my failures and wrong deeds?
How can I overcome this “phase”,
When to talk-it-out, I have people to chase?
I try to pick the ones who’d listen,
Listen to the miseries of this human,
But all those who once were befriended,

Now run for miles, when even my shadow makes an appearance.

They think it’s a flu they’d catch,
If they lend a ear, they’d be trapped.
All their knowledge gets washed down the drain,
When a superstition makes them refrain,

From talking to me, talking about me for a change.

They call me “mental” based on the men who tell these tales,

If only they knew talking about it is my only escape.

“Consult a psychiatrist”; they said,
“You’ll be sane again”; they said,
How do I talk about it, when they hear it with a filter of insanity?
Everything I say they conclude as “just a mentality”,
I’d step into a psychiatrist’s office,
And even the receptionist glares with a judgemental stare.

She’s afraid of the flu too, you see.

All I want is a pair of non-judgemental ears,
Who’d help me find an anchor out of here.
For I know there are many more out there,
Who have been diagnosed with this “flu” somewhere,
All we need is for this stigma to break,
So we can be open about this outbreak,
It’s not that we aren’t trying to break free,
We’re bound by these chains you see,
They tie us and tag us as “indifferent”,
While we’re loosing a part of us,

Without being able to speak.

Hoping for the near future to be better,
Waiting for that day, am holding it all in here,
Within my soul, without fear,

I bare my mind only to my ears.

-M.Sindhuja ©

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